I’ve always been a ‘good girl’ and meeting a stranger through an online dating site was something I never thought I’d ever do, especially for a one night stand. It’s funny, when I look back at the way I used to view the world a few years ago I feel sort of embarrassed. I was incredibly naive.
I’m twenty-three now and I lost my virginity when I was twenty-one. Until recently I only had one lover my whole life, I’ll call him Chad in this letter and we started going out in high school. We promised each other we’d save ourselves for marriage, but after four years of heavy petting we gave in and went all the way.
Having sex opened up a whole new world for me. I never knew what I was missing. I had a very religious upbringing and I felt guilty for not waiting until I was married, but I was so sure Chad and I were going to be together forever it didn’t seem to matter.
My life changed only two months ago when I found a list of phone numbers and women’s names in one of Chad’s school books. There were so many I didn’t think it was possible that he‘d slept with all of them, but it made me suspicious enough to hide a tape recorder under his bed in his dorm room, the kind for taping lectures that only record when someone‘s talking.
In three days, he had sex with two different women. One of them he’d apparently only just met through an online dating service, and the other was a friend of mine. They talked about me like I was the stupidest person in the world before doing it. The recorder also caught another conversation with one of his guy friends and he asked Chad in a weird joking way if he’d fucked me in the ass yet (something we‘d recently tried) and he replied, „yeah, and the dirty slut sucked my cock right afterwards!“ (something I didn’t do). He also told his friend that I’d be an „easy score“ after he broke up with me in a few months.
I must have listened to that tape a hundred times. I can’t believe I never suspected a thing while we were going out. It was an ugly break-up to say the least, and I can admit it really made me feel horrible about myself. I still can’t even imagine getting into another long term relationship, and not having regular sex made things much worse.
It’s weird, but after we broke up I was horny all the time and I couldn’t help myself from thinking I should try to get back together with Chad, even just for one last filthy fuck. How insane is that? It’s what led me to look for a one night stand on the Internet, and it turned out to be a very satisfying experience.
It was very easy to do. I never knew the guy’s real name, and I didn’t want to. I just wanted an outlet for my sexual frustration. He was a little older than me, but not much, and seemed to understand that I’d been hurt in a previous relationship. He said he’d just caught his girlfriend in bed with one of his friends and he knew what I was going through. I think he was feeding me a line, but at the time it was comforting.
We met in a restaurant and it was quite romantic. We were both very nervous and I kept thinking the whole night „I can’t believe I’m going to do this,“ but as our date progressed I knew I would do anything and everything this complete stranger wanted. When we got back to his apartment we practically ripped each other’s clothes off without making any excuses.
Wherever he touched me, my body instinctively responded with lust. I don’t think my nipples have ever been as hard as when he kissed them, and after I got my panties off, I opened my legs as wide as I could so he could worship my clit. I had an instant orgasm when his mouth circled my womanhood, and it was so satisfying I even forgot where I was.
It was just carnal fucking from there on, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover his cock was much bigger than Chad‘s. It was so big it was a bit scary, but like I said, I would have done anything he asked. I’d have even let him fuck my ass with it, but he didn’t seem interested. He didn’t say so, but I guessed he had a fetish for coming in my mouth because he didn’t warn me he was close when I gave him a blowjob. I swallowed every drop when he eventually did come, and it was such a turn on for him he didn’t even lose his erection.
I know I really did a number on him. I made him fuck me with every ounce of energy he had and eventually we fell asleep together while he was still inside me. When I woke up I kissed him on the cheek and dressed quietly so I could slip away without having to go through an awkward good-bye. It almost worked. He caught me at the elevator of his building and told me it was the most amazing night in his life and asked when he could see me again. He seemed like a nice guy, but right now I sort of hate all men. I got a bit of a rush telling him to never call me and forget it ever happened.
So there you have it, my story. The good girl gone bad. I can’t tell myself I’m going to save anything for marriage, and I definitely don’t want to try. There’s no turning back. The only good thing that came out of my relationship with Chad was the loss of my innocence. I’m not as naďve as I used to be, and it‘s a wonderful feeling. I also figured out that a lot of people you’d never expect are using online dating services to have affairs. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with myself until I feel ready for another relationship. I saw a cheesy T-shirt on a woman the other day that I think explains how I feel. It read:
Kiss Me, Spank Me, Lick Me, Fuck Me, Come On My Tits, Tell Me You Love Me and Get The Fuck Out.
I think I‘m going to buy one of those and wear it on my next date with an anonymous stud.